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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Before taking a deep dive into the ever-growing pile of lawsuits against President Trump in his latest “Closer Look” segment, Late Night host Seth Meyers took a moment to address the feud that ignited when former Vice President Joe Biden told a crowd in Miami that if he’d been in high school, he would have taken POTUS “out behind the gym and beaten the hell out of him.”

Why? Any guy who talks the way Trump does about alledgedly sexually assaulting women, Biden reasoned, “was usually the fattest, ugliest SOB in the room.”

Never one to let a slight go unanswered, Trump tweeted his response Wednesday: “Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way. Don’t threaten people Joe!”

An incredulous Meyers noted, “If you thought politics couldn’t get any dumber, you were once again proven wrong when the 71-year-old president of the United States and the 75-year-old former vice president of the United States threatened to beat each other up.”

He sighed, “This is just what America needs: “The Thrilla in Vanilla. The last time I saw two old dudes going at it like that, my local Walmart was down to its last bottle of prune juice.”

He continued, “This whole ordeal is embarrassing not just because it degrades our political discourse but also because it would never happen. Can you imagine these two actually fighting? It would end as soon as one of them accidentally stepped on his own super-long testicles.”

Meyers also had harsh words for Biden, whom he thought should know better.

“You don’t have to say you want to fight Donald Trump,” he assured the former veep, “because we all know you want to fight Donald Trump. But when it comes time for someone to fight Donald Trump, I’m sorry, we’re just not going to pick you. We’re gonna pick Ronda Rousey.”

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